At the moment, I have so much in my head that I'd love to get down in type, that I think I will post and rework the posts over the next few weeks. . .
So much of what others write about life as an ex-pat is true. It is endlessly stimulating intellectually. The constant opportunities to compare life as you know it and life as it now presents itself to you bring tremendous insights into human nature. A mirror is held ever before you, but this time it isn't the fun-house mirror you grew up with. It's a different fun-house mirror, in which you are both shown and distorted, but differently.
And it is so painful sometimes. All those little coping mechanisms you have developed for your own culture don't help you here. I am a "get along with folks kind of gal" in so many ways. If you make a mistake, you apologize; you let the other guy go first; you hold the door. And in the States, this approach tends to pay off. You give off a certain vibe - "I am an approachable, decent person, who will be nice to you." - and for the most part it's true. People respond to this, and I think, to my benefit.
But here, it's all efficiency and "I can't be bothered to say hello, even though I know you and although we are passing eachother in a hallway less than a meter wide". "Small talk is a waste of my precious time."
Thank God, I have encountered less of this in Baden, but it makes one so uncertain - it makes one distrustful of one's most basic behavioral instincts. My fallback behavior is perceived here as merely weak and stupid. *sigh*
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